dirty martini

old music for new people

american redneck idol May 23, 2008

i can barely be bothered to watch the american idol final on itv2 tonight now that i know snoozefest david cook has won.  ooh lets kills every assigned song with exactly the same grunge rock arrangement. how clever.

grandparent favourite david archuleta was obviously not a hugely better prospect but at least he wasn’t a throwback to the early 90s unless you think the fact that he was born in 1990 qualifies that comparison. neither of them are a leona, hell, they’re not even a jordin sparks. i’m even going to go out on a limb here and say i preferred carrie unde-robot-wood and taylor ‘father ted’ hicks.

god i just didn’t really care that much about any of the contestants after chikezie went. he peaked too early with ‘i believe to my soul’. i liked syesha but she clearly wasn’t as good as similar artists from previous years, like vonzell a few years back.

do kids still listen to complaint rock? seriously? i didn’t believe it in the 90s and i don’t believe it now. scenes of kids jumping up and down on their bed playing air guitar are always the most unrealistic elements of any movie or tv show for me, and I didn’t know anyone who did that.

at least we had a few who were enjoyably shit keeping up the sanjaya malakar/that stupid marine/jasmine trias tradition. that er, jason er…dreads bloke, clinched the cringe of the ‘season’ with his double bob marley massacre. jason castro, just looked it up. kristy lee cook was unenjoyably shit. brooke white looked like a little old alien, like gail from corrie…

doubtless there will be another ‘season’ so here are some of the better performances from the last 6 years…

ruben studdard – a whole new world

latoya london – somewhere

elliot yamin – if you really love me

tamyra gray – a house is not a home

chikezie eze – i believe to my soul

jennifer hudson – weekend in new england

mario vasquez – do i do

lakisha jones – and i am telling you

anwar robinson – what’s going on

mandisa – i don’t hurt anymore

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90s girl groups – one hit wonders August 29, 2007

girls.jpg 

if celebrity can be measured by the likelihood of someone turning up on a reality tv show, let’s be clear. these girls aren’t making it onto any islands, into any houses and won’t be choking down koala poo in any jungles.

image was a problem for many of the groups. in the early 90s, grunge influenced fashion even through to the polarised r&b scene. girl band members found themselves in lumberjack shirts, heavy denim and doc martens, in order to be taken serioously in the male dominated urban scene. topped off with heavy matt makeup and elaborate hairstyles that thankfully didn’t seem to move too much whilst they were dancing.

note tlc became far more successful once they ditched the tumble tots wear and condom-based accessories. check out the a list and the b list too. and the even less successful than on this list, list

download here

7669 – 69 ways to love a black man

i remember seeing 7669 videos on the box and thinking they were a bit ghetto. like an entire group of adina howards.  but they had some good tunes on east from a bad block, their one and only 1993 album. no doubt they would seem tame now and at least they wore clothes.

asia blue – escaping

in 1992 this was on my local radio station playlist and I’m surprised it didn’t become a much bigger hit. dina carroll covered it several years later but the original is far better. less r&b and more contemporary soul, with obvious new age influences.

blackgirl – krazy

ok, not so much one-hit wonders but in the UK at least, ’90s girl’ was their only success. this, their first track, features smooth. they actually recorded two albums, the second of which remains unreleased.

divine – lately

this was their only hit, rerecorded for the european market by samantha mumba. band member kia auditioned for this year’s american idol but didn’t make it past hollywood. they must have been young, then, when they were together?

earth gyrlz – love of mine

who were these girls? google uncovers little about them other than this track. and, that band member tanesha now performs in musicals so at least we know one of them has a job!

ex-girlfriend – why can’t you come home

started out in 1985 as petite, and recorded a tribute to new edition called ‘he’s so fine’. later became ex-girlfriend and had success with this and an album. stacy left and they continued as three for life but both solo and band attempts failed.

infiniti – will you be my baby

london-based trio. well, i had the single, grand puba was on the remix and he mentioned lauryn hill in his spot as far as i remember. band member dionne is now recording again after working in a pharmacy since the band split. but she did meet her husband there, so…result.

sa-deuce – don’t waste my time

there’s no information about this duo online. its scary to think that something from only just over a decade ago is lost forever just because no one put it online. it makes it seem really ancient.

s.h.e. – in the middle

another trio that failed to live up to their potential. the album ‘3’s a charm’ was nice but a little too commercial in parts. they remind me a bit of brownstone.

tcf crew – i ain’t the one

scant info on this group but they did record an answer track to color me badd’s ‘i wanna sex you up’ called ‘if you wanna sex me up’. would so love to find that. 

trellini – i wanna be yours

ok, as it turns out, not a group. i used to mix her up with tenderoni as they both had videos on the box around the same time, and i was looking for this track for years thinking it was one of theirs…

y?n-vee – chocolate

def jam group who are most memorable for their totally ghetto name.