dirty martini

old music for new people

crazy is as crazy does December 23, 2007

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 artists like to sing about being crazy -and over the christmas period their claims to insanity may be more valid. families can send you nuts.

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chaka demus and pliers – love you like crazy

became a bit of a comedy reggae act in the 90s after a pointless cover of ‘twist and shout’.

corina – loving you like crazy

freestyle artist corina is still going strong – this track is from 1990.

dream – crazy

teenage girls do not make for a harmonious group – lineup changes led to their second album, ‘reality’, being shelved. a shame, as this, and some of the other tracks sounded a lot better than their debut.

five star – crazy

i loved this video, which followed the group as they rampaged through an empty fairground. very low budget ie classic 80s.

mark morrison – crazy

actually mark’s first single before ‘return of the mack’. is he in jail again? not heard from him for a while.

missy elliott and beyonce – crazy feelings

a restrained effort from beyonce here, thankfully. missy’s midtempo tracks are actually very good.

mj cole – crazy love

lushly produced uk garage, bound for the lounge rather than the club. vocals are by uk urban mainstay elisabeth troy.

musiq – halfcrazy

nice slow jam from the soulchild.

occasions – crazy world

gospel meets 90s r&b and the results are impressive.

paul davis – i go crazy

downtempo weepy later covered by jazz vocalist will downing.

trellini – crazy about you

90s girl trellini wasn’t hugely successful but her one and only album (i think) was nice.

yvette michele – crazy

yvette started off singing about being crazy about a dj, then just decided to be crazy. then decided to sing about a dj again…she only had one album.

 

songs you turn down on your ipod: annoy people on the bus December 11, 2007

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since i bought an ipod classic i’ve realised its actually quite difficult to piss people off on the tube with your poor taste in muisc. the bloody things aren’t loud enough, all you can hear is the inevitable annoucement of ‘signal failure at arnos grove’.

so, now that the EU have decided to limit our ability to block out the sounds emitted by a rackety tube train hurtling (sometimes) down a tunnel, perhaps the best place to annoy people is the bus. yes, the bus because there you are most likely to annoy old people. old people who ignore the screamingly obvious white earphones and plonk themselves down next to you and start asking questions.

stop taking your earphones out to politely respond to their query as to whether you think the bus service is getting worse. of course it is, that’s a rhetorical question. this is london – you must learn to pay more and expect less. how rude of some technology-dodger to interrupt your commute. ignore them. turn up your ’embarrassing shit i like’ playlist and see what carnage ensues.

i have quite a lot of bad taste…check out my original ipod sins and those i tried unsuccessfully to inflict upon my fellow tube passengers.

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10cc – dreadlock holiday

‘i don’t like cricket. i love it!’ nonsensical jukebox favourite.

amy grant – baby baby

amy was a god bothering gospel singer. which no one realised until after they’d bought this bouncy debut single.

boy meets girl – waiting for a star to fall

no song featured on the soundtrack to a film like ‘three men and a little lady’, or anything starring tom selleck, was ever going to be that cool.

debbie gibson – lost in your eyes

hard to believe now, but when britney launched people compared her to squeaky teen debbie. loved the reference to ‘electric youth’ in ugly betty.

elton john and kiki dee – don’t go breaking my heart

your mum likes this. therefore you shouldn’t.

heart – alone

80s hair rock is so not cool. except for this.

heavy d and the boyz – now that we found love

i love this more than the original and actually cheered when this was played at the end of ‘hitch’.

kids from fame – starmaker

way too worthy stage school brats sing about how tough it is when you’re on a scholarship.

pet shop boys – heart

camp and deadpan were revered as musical geniuses in the 80s. it was all a bit too atmospheric for me but i like this one.

rah band – clouds across the moon

spoken word intros are corny as anything. especially when you throw in a pink phone and shocked expression.

roxette – it must have been love

this is the most credible record roxette ever recorded. witness ‘joyride’ and ‘dressed for success’.

vanessa williams – save the best for last

totally lost its credibility after being used in a bisto ad. oh ok it was never cool in the first place…love wilhelmina slater though.