dirty martini

old music for new people

two miles an hour so everybody sees you June 8, 2008

long before will smith extolled the virtue of driving slowly through the summer heat, to ensure potential hookups got to see you looking your best, crews who weren’t old enough to drive found another way to look cool.

they lugged a fifty pound ghettoblaster round town all day.  any less than four people looked desperate – boom boxing was a group activity, plus, it was heavy work. ghettoblasters generally required four to six huge batteries to keep going for, ooh, two hours, and so you might think the lads would plan strategically for maximum impact from their hard earned. nope.

instead of trying to impress girls and finding out where they would be, you could usually find boom boxers outside hotspots such as:

  • hanging around outside woolies
  • in the tesco trolley area
  • round the back of the bingo hall
  • on deckchairs on the beach near all the OAPs
  • on a bench in the middle of a roundabout
  • in the local park

hmm. the girls are at each others houses, getting their fake id ready to go out and meet boys who have cars and don’t need to lope around town with a boombox on their shoulder…

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brooklyn funk essentials – do or die bedstuy

bvsmp – i need you

doug e fresh – the show

full force – your love is so def

just ice – latoya

kurtis blow – if i ruled the world

ll cool j – i need love

rocksteady crew – hey you

run dmc – it’s tricky

slick rick – mona lisa

utfo – fly girl

whistle – just buggin’


a roller skating jam named saturdays April 7, 2008

one of my first (of many) instore tantrums was over a pair of starlight express rollerboots.

skating, indeed many forms of exercise, were popular pastimes in the 70s and 80s in a way that they’re just not now. computers were basic, tv was limited to three channels, so you got off your arse and went outside. girls skated and french skipped, boys played football or hit things with sticks.

roller discos, therefore, were good places for boys to meet girls, once they got over that whole ‘girls are stupid’ phase. skating though, had potential for embarrassment. and boys didn’t look that cool skating.

so, most venues were built around the twin concepts of roller rinks for the girls and skateboard ramps for the boys. and a wall’s ice cream stand in the middle for hook-ups…with the retro yellow branding not the rubbish continental style brand they have now.

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bb biz r – sucker for your love

bobby demo – bugs-b-skate-rap

cameo – rollerskates

doug e fresh and slick rick – the show

indeep – last night a dj saved my life

kurtis blow – don’t stop the body rock

newcleus-  jam on it

rocksteady crew – hey you, the rocksteady crew

salt-n-pepa – push it

shannon – let the music play

soul sonic force – electric kingdom

white shadow – boogie freak