dirty martini

old music for new people

loving the alien August 4, 2008

in the same way that i had trouble waiting for the sex and the city movie, i’m impatiently awaiting the second series of ashes to ashes. january 2009, i’m assuming…..aaaaargh!

now, opinion is divided on whether there should be a 90s version. i’m going to weigh in on that particular debate – HELL YES. gene hunt grappling with loved up cheesy quavers on the early 90s rave scene? genius. if it has to be named after a david bowie song…loving the alien? i have never heard it by the way, i just had a look at a list of his singles.

the railway arms is a great place to discuss all things mars and ashes related. if i’m feeling brave i might post the following theory about a2a series 2…

alex didn’t return to 1981 to save her parents, she returned to find her brother/sister who was the child of caroline price and evan. or even gene, there was definitely some tension there…her brother/sister , will be grown up, but stuck in the past, like she is.

the reason it is so important, aside from the fact that she has a sibling she was unaware of as she grew up – the sibling was responsible for the death of molly’s father, in 1995. if alex can change his/her fate then she can save him.

there.

and here’s a soundtrack for that third series, set in 1990…

download here

adventures of stevie v – dirty cash

bassomatic- fascinating rhythm

deee-lite – power of love

electronic – getting away with it

en vogue – you don’t have to worry

family stand – ghetto heaven

happy mondays – step on

ll cool j – around the way girl

m&m and rachael wallace – i feel this way

maxi priest – close to you

neneh cherry-  heart

propaganda – heaven give me words

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hello kitschy July 20, 2008

a collection of tunes that are crying out for a super kitsch cartoon video.

download here

amerie – crush

possibly just meant to sound happy, not kitsch, but this remix conjures up images of bubbles, flying candy and glitter and there’s nothing amerie can do about it…

basement jaxx – romeo

you can tell the jaxx heart kitsch by their album covers, even if you haven’t heard the music. who else would put snowflake, the albino gorilla from barcelona zoo, on a cd?

bjork – big time sensuality

more quirky than kitsch, but bjork does look a bit like a japanese cartoon.

confection – i gotta thang 4u

confection are a group who make 80s jheri soul a la loose ends. i honestly didn’t realise for a long time that they weren’t authentic 80s.

daft punk – digital love

kids of the 80s went ‘aaaah…’ when they saw the video to this tune, featuring battle of the planets style anime.

deee-lite – say ahhh

unashamedly kitsch, and psychedelic at the same time.

groove armada and mutya buena – song for mutya

whoever thought they would be describing the chavtastic mutya as kitsch? not me…

keyshia cole – superstar

hate jameila. this is the only song of hers that i could remotely stand so i was happy that keyshia covered it for the us market. clearly, bitter brummie bitches don’t go down too well across the pond, either…

mariah carey – touch my body

eternally 12 apparently…mariah is the physical embodiment of kitsch and youth obsession taken too far. and no i don’t buy the nick cannon thing, that boy just looks uncomfortable to me.

model 500 – the flow

i doubt that derrick may intended to make anything that sounded remotely kitsch. but it so does…

st etienne – who do you think you are

if all of st etienne’s video has been animated kitsch, i think their music would have been more appealing. i liked it, but the oh-look-at-us-we’re indie!-and-quirky! band members ruined things somewhat.

sub sub and melanie williams – ain’t no love

the most cartoonish club classic i can remember – shouldn’t have worked but it did.

 

songs to make your ipod melt in shame… July 1, 2008

i have bad taste for miles. is that ‘music’ in inverted commas?

download here

britney spears – you drive me crazy

less gothic sounding than baby one more time. god i can’t believe this is nearly ten years old…shit…although i can when i see a pic of britney now.

deeelite – groove is in the heart

i’m not saying deee-lite are shit. i love them but this song is all most people know and its played out. but you have to have it there. i don’t have to have ‘love shack’ though, i will so survive…

divinyls – i touch myself

i probably only like this cos its rude, since its a style of music i usually don’t care for. yeah that must be it.

emf – unbelievable

emf are one of the worst examples of early 90s madchester, baggy, whatever you want to call it…at the time though, there may not have been a distinguishable difference between them and the happy mondays.

5ive – slam dunk da funk

5ive were your archetypal wannabe r&b boy band who were more chesterfield than atlanta. so, they were fab in a way only a british boy band can get away with.

four tops – loco in acapulco

the four tops were way past their prime when this was recorded and it was included on the soundtrack to phil collin’s buster, a terrible movie. it’s summer 1988 in three and half minutes, however.

inner circle – sweat

top class cheesy summer reggae. no doubt a purist’s nightmare, but hey, i’m no purist.

joey lawrence – nothin’ my love can’t fix

yes that’s joey from blossom. the one who had a mullet well into the 90s and was endearing for being thick, like so many other joeys before and since. uk people of a certain age – ‘joey!’ hands up who didn’t even know the origin of that insult when they used it?

kylie minogue – better the devil you know

this was covered by steps, and i’m not quite tragic enough to have them on my ipod. kylie is definitely better than steps…i think. yeah, lisa scott-lee is in steps and she’s the epitome of desperation. agreed.

nkotb – step by step

the main reason i love this is the bit in the middle: ‘step one! we can have lots of fun.’ wait – was that sung by a donkey? well, danny wood was a donkey, horse, camel, depending on who you asked. this was obviously before jay-z and just about the same time as tony adams, so any of the titles were up for grabs.

pulp – disco 2000

i should hate jarvis cocker for so many reasons. he’s dandy – i don’t get that, i really don’t get the russell brand thing. oh and he should really have given us another ten years – this was only released in 1995, five years before we were supposed to be fully grown. fat chance, i’m not even there yet.

wiley – wearing my rolex

my only real objection to this song, as with countless other bassline tracks, is that i love it. hear me out. i’m getting on, i did speed garage (for that it what this is, kids) the first time round in my uni days. you’re making me feel old…

A history of my one woman campaign for people to listen to what the hell they want:

once i admitted to having bad taste..

…i then found myself unable to stop

…and ended up sharing too much…

then tv made guilty pleasure ok again

 

how do you say…deee-lite? October 30, 2007

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not everyone gets deeelite.

deeelite were retro at a time when retro was not cool. in 1990 we looked to the future not the past and the 70s sound was a stark reminder of the recent past. we laughed at photos of our parents in flares, platforms and afros – deeelite defiantly wore all three and looked cool. we were dumbstruck, and fell in love with their barefaced cheek.

their sound and their image complemented each other perfectly. swirly, quirky and full of colour. as 60s babies, the trio had updated the 70s rainbow funk of their childhood and updated it for the new generation. they were so not cool in terms of the new age image of the time that clothed itself in crystals and white chiffon, but their positive vibes complemented the ethos perfectly.

when they broke up in the mid 90s, it was probably just in time. their skippy, flower fairy psychedelia was still working. bjork didn’t manage to maintain it beyond one album. look what could have happened…

download here

apple juice kissing

grass roots soul – like any of today’s screechy r&b divas on valium and forced to sit in a garden all day.

groove is in the heart

this is the sampladelic relics… version as i’m sure you all have the original by now.

how do you say…love?

early house/bleep with a human edge.

picnic in the summertime

i remember the cd single cover looked like a victoria plum pencil pot i had in infant school. actually i still have the pot somewhere – and this guru remix.

power of love

the second single from their debut album ‘world clique’ and long a bone of contention for me as the single remix is vastly superior to the album version. and yet you can’t find it anywhere – so, this is a ‘pitchy’ as paula abdul would say, youtube rip.

pussycat meow

anyone remember mtv europe in the good old days? well during fashion show ‘the pulse’ (with swatch) this was often the soundtrack of choice. god the early 90s were camp…

runaway

from second album ‘infinity within’ this was a clubbier direction.

say ahh

chilled jazz hop with a floral trim.

somebody

ravey, rumbling track that was a bit darker than anything else on ‘dewdrops’.

stay in bed…forget the rest

lady miss kier can get down with the best of them…its not all butterflies and eyeliner.

what is love

bouncy rave track wth breathy vocals.

who was that?

popcorn style electro.

 

the sound of summer August 25, 2007

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ok, i’m getting this one in quick. its bank holiday weekend and i’m reliably infomed that this weekend is going to resemble summer. as reliable as uk forecasters get anyway, what’s this 90% chance of rain business? they can never be wrong!

so this weekend, make the most of it and secretly thank god that your failed diet summer 2007 can be put on the backburner until the new year. i’ve actually learned to cope with rain better than i used to so that’s something good to come out of the monsoon.

and if the weather fails us again? girls – that boots brand airbrush fake tan, the one thats been half price, is quite good and much cheaper than the l’oreal version. it just smells a bit like a candle burning out, but not entirely unpleasant…

songs we haven’t had much need for this yeardownload here

jazzy jeff and the fresh prince – summertime

i used to know all the words to this. ok, i still do. this version is a remix that i don’t remember. it may be new or old but its by yam who.

dove shack – summertime in the lbc

g funk classic. no idea who they are.

isley brothers – summer breeze

one of my mum’s favourite songs by one of the greatest soul bands ever.

10cc -dreadlock holiday

‘i don’t like cricket. i love it.’ eh? sounds like a compliment from simon cowell.

another level – summertime

from the boys’ second album. their last single, if i remember correctly.

belinda carlisle – summer rain

the musical embodiment of the word ‘humid’.

bob marley – sun is shining

the original version, not the ibiza remix.

deeelite – picnic in the summertime

who can resist lady miss kier and co? from their 1995 album dewdrops in the garden.

stevie wonder – summer soft

one of many stevie wonder songs dealing with summer and sunshine.

lighthouse family – ocean drive

south beach is summer.

friends of distinction – grazing in the grass

have barely walked on grass this year let alone sat on it!

chic – a warm summer night

disco queens chic actually made some mellower tracks too, like this one.