dirty martini

old music for new people

la isla bonita June 23, 2008

sometime a girl just needs her cat, a cocktail and an island, right?

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mo’horizons – dance naked under palmtrees

3rd core – mindless and broken

kid coconutz – needed moonlight

towa tei -senor coconut

art of noise – island

red snapper – lobster

talvin singh- traveller

sisterlove – the hypnotist

art of noise – majorca

lovers lane – island memories

beloved – sweet harmony

solid gold easy amex – enjoy

bentley rhythm ace – bentley’s gonna sort you out

bbg – snappiness

blow monkeys – la passionara

ultramarine – saratoga

sheer taft – atlantis

future sound of london – papua new guinea



hell is…other people June 16, 2008

well, we’re over a week and one eviction into the latest series.


well, we know which box to put her in don’t we? i don’t even know if she’s trying to be charley or is just a rude bitch. not sure what would be worse.


hmm. he reminds me of the actor in 27 dresses a bit. not sure about him yet. the whole having a crush on someone already thing is a bit desperate. it didn’t work for saskia and maxwell and it won’t work this time.


i have a feeling darnell is going to be good value, and possibly one of the only housemates brave enough to take on alex.


bitchy little pinenut akin to sex and the city’s anthony. but nowhere near as redeemable.


single mum who supposedly looks like cheryl cole but in all truth, looks more like alanis morissette. there’s a VAST difference.


human pokemon and obvious fodder for jlc and alan carr. haven’t heard her talk about anything other than cookies so far.


is clearly going to have some kind of epiphany relating to her relationship. seems fairly calm but could just be in blind panic from the realisation that her boyfriend is a twat.


his longevity could hinge on how well he copes with pissed up housemates while rolling on in his wagon. hissy fits could ensue.


twat. thinks he looks italian so changes his name from shaun to mario. wtf? this man is every bouncer you have ever hated, every dickhead who has pinched your arse in a crowded bar. torture him or get him out.


seems very sweet but is being patronised to hell and back by mario and lisa. he’s blind not stupid you fu%!ers.


has the potential to be a good housemate if he doesn’t end up winding up the others up by nicking all the food. another one who might stand up to alex.


former child actress. has five cats so i want to like her. her and jennifer kind of look the same so i don’t see both lasting.


same as laura form last year. but not welsh. she’ll be out soon bar an act of immense generosity so don’t pay too much attention to her.


has that max from eastender thing going on. gingers are doing it for themselves this year.


thick as, and the least compelling interviewee ever, but i would have preferred to see one of the others go as she had the potential to cause trouble and was allergic to mario.


will disassociate herself from alex at the scene of the first big fight. in fact, is there anywhere that will take a bet on that?

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aaliyah – don’t know what to tell you

alexander o’neal – fake

colonel abrams – trapped

kelis – game show/about to hate me

living in a box – living in a box

mariah carey – prisoner

marvin gaye – it’s a desperate situation

o’jays – 992 arguments

prince – let’s pretend we’re married

the roots – lazy afternoon

vybe – i can’t fight anymore


work it May 20, 2008

i’ve been watching the us version of the office recently, having loved the original uk version. i have to say, i’m pleasantly surprised. jim is of course, better looking than tim, but no less endearing. michael isn’t sad in quite the same way as david brent but he’ll come to a stickier end, i think.

pam, hmm, well i find it fairly unbelievable that every man in the office would have a crush on someone so frumpy but she’s actually a better character for it. i love jim and pam, or ‘jam’. dwight is cartoonish but i have no problem with the idea that someone so weird would run wild amongst average us citizens…

the american finchy, however, is so crap i don’t even know his name. angela is an interesting one. in the uk version i always said what was missing was a uptight, miserable old cow, as per my manager at the time, who existed (and probably still exists) to cause other people pain. i wish they didn’t make her obsessed with cats though – i love cats and its an old joke now.

chili’s – a texmex ‘restaurant’, uk people, there’s one in reading – is the scene of many crimes and this has left me wondering if america doesn’t have townie clubs like chasers, full of drunk suits and local chavs on a wednesday night?

inevitably, as with the uk version, aside from jam, the stupid office pranks are the best thing about the us version. tricks i would have liked to see tim play on gareth in the uk version:

  • all of gareth’s stuff in a vending machine for him to buy back
  • encouraging gareth to buy a women’s handbag
  • convincing gareth that thursday was actually friday, making him miss work the next day
  • paying colleagues to call gareth ‘gary’ for a day
  • convincing gareth that ‘gaydar’ was an actual, purchasable device
  • tricked him into believing he was completing special missions for the MOD

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altitudes – work it like a 9 to 5

blackstreet – i like the way you work

eyc – the way you work it

fonzi thornton – i work for a livin’

isley brothers – work to do

kelly rowland – work

mel stewart – no work no pay

michael jackson – working day and night

nel oliver – i have a good job

prince – let’s work

roots – thought@work

tcf crew – hardest working lover


the truth about cats and dogs March 25, 2008



love cats. don’t trust people who hate them. slightly wary of people who think their dog is the best friend…my cats are cool, and they love me, but they’re my cats not a replacement for a human being.

i’m trying to like dogs. i like golden retrievers, sheepdogs and er, lassie dogs. i do not like jack russells – not one thing good about them.

good things about cats:

  • they’re smarter than you
  • they purr
  • they’re better looking than most animals
  • they’re soft and fluffy – and clean
  • they’re unintentionally funny
  • if you’re hungover, they’re happy to sleep in
  • if they like you, that’s it forever

bad things about dogs:

  • they smell
  • they leave your hands feeling dry
  • they’re stupid beyond belief
  • they bark too loud
  • you have to pick up their shit
  • if you’re hungover, they still want to go for walkies
  • if they hate you, that’s it forever

download here

beyonce – kitty kat

bros – cat amongst the pigeons

curiosity killed the cat – down to earth

deee-lite – pussycat meow

felix da housecat- madame hollywood

kitten and the cats – stay with me

missy elliott – pussycat

musiq – previous cats

naughty by nature – written on ya kitten

phat cat players – make it phat

prince – scarlett pussy

supercat – dolly my baby