dirty martini

old music for new people

garage city: do you want it right now May 14, 2008

in 1992, some enduring garage classics arrived – the robin s, degrees of motion and shawn christopher classics in this mix are still played out in garage sets today, 16 years on.

1992 was my favourite year, there was just something about it. i just about passed my gcse’s after ‘studying’ on the beach during revision leave. spent the summer alternating between downing bottles of 20/20 wine on the sea front to flashing my fake id at lazy bouncers and most of the time, getting away with it.

then i started college and within the space of a year everything had changed. my college was full of grungey indie kids and goths, but we managed to co-exist.

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luther vandross and janet jackson – best things in life are free

aly-us – follow me

was not was – shake your head

ce ce peniston – we got a love thang

rapination and kym mazelle – love me the right way

funky green dogs – reach for me

degrees of motion – do you want it right now

shawn christopher – don’t lose the magic

reese project – colour of love

ann consuelo – see the day

cajmere and dajae – brighter days

inner city – pennies from heaven

robin s – show me love

mk and alana – always

c&c music factory – a deeper love

degrees of motion – shine on

juliet roberts – i want you

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when life imitates art May 11, 2008

this mariah and nick cannon thing…has to be fake surely. i know she’s madder than a bag of ferrets, but shotgun wedding to serial dater and no pre-nup? come ON…

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aaliyah and r.kelly – the thing i like

very seedy – aaliyah signed with r.kelly’s label at 13…and two years later they allegedly married when she was 15 although the certificate said she was 18. maybe she was? of all the discussions i’ve seen on this topic this hasn’t been raised a possibility. aaliyah went on to date damon dash. and r.kelly? not going there.

ashanti and nelly – switch

not sure if these two are still together or not – in any case both are releasing albums shortly so you can bet that they’ll let us know one way or another, depending on how their publicists decide to play it.

beyonce and jay-z – upgrade you

i want to like jayonce, but they have really dull friends like ‘new bono’ chris martin and gwyneth paltrow. on the upside, their inevitably impending offspring will have fabulously ghetto names, probably chosen by worlds’ scariest mama tina knowles. bet she’s scouring those 80s music lists for a faux francais babyname that jheri soul’s finest would be proud of.

bobby brown and whitney houston – something in common

oh how we loved bobby and whitney – 80s badboy teen falls for older woman and mends his ways. for about five years, then he has an early midlife crisis and it all goes badly wrong. now whitney is trying to replicate the good old days with an even younger model and bobby is trying to get it on with anyone who’ll have him.

brandy and boyz ii men – brokenhearted

think those child protection laws must’ve been a bit slack in the early 90s. like aaliyah, brandy fell prey to an older counterpart but *sigh of relief* it was sensible old wanya of non-threatening boyz ii men, and he apparently waited until she was 16…

common and erykah badu – the light

after splitting with andre 3000 of outkast, crazy bag lady erykah (i do mean that in a nice way) hooked up with smiley rapper common. this woman outcrazied two rappers. do not mess.

jennifer lopez and p diddy – feelin’s so good

i did like j lo and puffy. it was a shame about that inconvenient little shooting incident which scared her off. they were fabulously trashy and didn’t care. she also was channelling the best outfits of her life when they were together. i still want that green tropical versace number…

kelis and nas – popular thug

seemingly solid couple and i’m kind of impressed with nas that he chose kelis, who clearly is not your run of the mill model-video actress-clinique salesgirl by day type, which he no doubt had his pick of.

mary j blige and kci hailey – i don’t want to do anything

a bad move for mary, and i would say that jodeci were more than a little tarnished by the revelations concerning the destructive nature of her relationship with kci, which she was dealing with for years before she met kendu. karma’s a bitch – have you seen the state of jodeci lately?

notorious big and faith evans – one more chance

not the likeliest of lotharios but biggie managed to charm quite a few women in his 23 years…faith and lil kim faced off quite publicly about him for a while and let’s face it, must have felt a bit ridiculous fighting over someone so er, non-standard.

prince and vanity – if a girl answers

prince and vanity lead denise matthews had a short lived relationship, once they split, denise aka vanity, hightailed it and was replaced by patricia kotero in a new group, appollonia. *crickets* yes of course he did, why do you think she got the job? vanity went on to date slighty taller men – adam ant and billy idol.

rihanna and chris brown – umbrella

so, blabbermouth jordin sparks lifted the lid on the relationship and now they’ve been ‘spotted’, unwittingly, in kfc…oh god…i mean they’re both like, 12 years old, why do i know this?  chris has only just started to form vowels properly.

 

say my name: j to l

 

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witness the reasons for a lot of girls born circa 1985 called kayleigh and janay…

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andre cymone – kelly’s eyes

betty everett – lucinda

daniel saluheka – lorraine

father mc – lisa baby

freddie jackson – janay

just ice – latoya

kool and the gang – joanna

le klass – jan

marillion – kayleigh

ray parker jr – jamie

riff – judy had a boyfriend

zakiya – jimmy

 

sugar and spice: 80s boybands May 9, 2008

new edition started something – in the 80s, r&b boybands sang about sugar, candy and flowers and we lapped it up.

well, let’s compare it to what we had to endure from our infant and junior school counterparts:

  • hair pulling
  • lifting up skirts
  • making you pretend to be princess leia/a bond girl/stacy from tj hooker every breaktime
  • snapping your bra straps
  • throwing insects at you
  • transformers…zzzz….

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by all means – slow jam

entouch – all nite

force md’s – will you be my girlfriend

full force – all in my mind

guy – i like

levert – casanova

new edition – candy girl

mac band – roses are red

pasadenas – enchanted lady

ready for the world – tonight

the reddings – i know you got another

skool boyz – burning up

 

digital reality May 4, 2008

fractals were big in 90s clubland. low budgets meant artists and record labels needed to be creative in order to get their videos on totp. there are countless low budget clips of djs, producers and random girls swaying awkwardly behind a keyboard.

others, notably the progressive house community, opted for computer-generated fractals. clubs picked up on the trend and installed big screens for wide eyed clubbers to fixate on as they danced.

progressive house was a hybrid of house and trance that built incrementally, hence the name. it was especially popular oop north but the south did hold its own with clubs like final frontier at club uk and whoop it up at the velvet rooms and gardening club.

mtv used to show those x-mix videos in full late at night back then and back from my underage drinking sessions, i would sit fixated for hours until my mum yelled at me to turn it off and get to bed.

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react 2 rhythm – intoxication – leftfield remix

slam – eterna

dig the new breed – whose no1

cool jack – just come

g.o.d. – inside your mind

gipsy – i trance you

andronicus – make you whole

phuture – rise from your grave

ramirez – hablando

gat decor – passion

leftfield – song of life

last rhythm – last rhythm

underground resistance – jupiter jazz

dj tools – ooh yeah

bedrock – for what you dream of

jaydee – plastic dreams

 

nite flite…the first sunset May 2, 2008

last week i was working from home (…) and an advert for ‘nite flyte’, a ‘new’ cd, came on tv, and i was momentarily disoriented and didn’t know what year it was. seriously!

back in the 80s, nite flyte compilations were for the discerning yuppie soul boys and girls – yes those who hung out drinking wine spritzers by night, and pretended to be upwardly mobile by day in their now slightly tragic accountancy/estate agent/banking careers.

the cover art is the same – there were three nite flyte compilations back in the day, but you wouldn’t have guessed unless you saw the tracklisting. the new cd is a summary of the three but it’s not promoted as ‘best of nite flite’ or the ‘anniversary edition’. it’s just there, it’s like we’ve slipped back 20 years

this is weird – the compilations surely weren’t that successful back when more people actually used to buy music? why bother?

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alexander o’neal – do you wanna like i do

anita baker – caught up in the rapture

bobby womack – i wish you didn’t trust me so much

chaka khan – through the fire

controllers – stay

eugene wilde – gotta get you home

el debarge – stay with me

force md’s – love is a house

freddie jackson – hey lover

george benson – kisses in the moonlight

glenn jones – show me

gregory abbott – shake you down

 

i love 1985: machine funk

i loved 1985…what can i say? it’s probably year dot as far as my non-hazy childhood memory goes.

live aid, madonna, jheri soul, john hughes movies…it’s all in there. i did a post on the summer of 1985 about a year ago.

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alexander o’neal – innocent

alex is mad as a bag of ferrets these days, but in the 80s he was funky. his backing tracks were artifical, over produced and all the better for it.

bar-kays – she talks to me

fab prince-lite with that bubbly mechanical bass.

bb&q band – dreamer

one of the finest exponents of jheri curl soul, which really took hold in 85. grown ups looked scary back then.

cherrelle – artificial heart

better known these days for smoking crack with whitney, back then she was alex o’neal’s default collaborator and had a pretty good career of her own.

five star – all fall down

this was five star’s first big hit, and the video was so 80s – ivory marble effect set, the band in clashing blue catsuits and cartoon inserts…

kokopop – ulterior motive

a b list new edition…in fact there were a few of these, maybe i should do a post…

leroy burgess – heartbreaker

still going, leroy was a member of disco group black ivory and also related to kool and the gang’s robert and ronald bell.

lillo thomas – i’m in love

lillo and his impressive moustache were fond of heavily produced polyfunk.

o’bryan – tenderoni

wonder who first coined the term ‘tenderoni’ as pioneered by o’bryan, chromeo and bobby brown?

paul hardcastle – don’t waste my time

brit computer geek but don’t let that put you off…oh and don’t let ’19’ out you off either…

rochelle – my magic man

loved this and thought she was a one hit wonder, but apparently there was another one – which i now have to find.

sexual harrassment – k.i.s.s.i.n.g

charming name for a band….not…every bit as nasty as ‘i need a freak’. nasty like prince, i mean.